tonight we'll be unstoppable

Right at this point when I realized that I could do nothing to go back, I feel it. The most horrifying feeling, regret.

Oh, I thought there would be no more dealing with it, but then again, it’s a typical mistake for me, no? Why couldn’t I learn to start learning from the past? What, so those disappointment I’ve several times had was nothing I could be taking lessons from?

I want to be busy, so busy that I won’t have any minutes to think about this.

I knew it, I knew it. My lousy sense of being a social being always makes me better left alone.

Oh, anyway, I have lots of assignments to do tonight. And by saying ‘assignments’ I mean it’s everything that has to be done by me, either academically or not. That’s absolutely okay with me, I want to be goddamn busy, anyway.

Things have to be learned by anytime soon (probably not more than a week):

there's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt

Yes, I am everything negative you can name.

It seems like, the more I get in touch with anyone socially, the more I know better how I was born as society’s biggest loathing object. I mean, truthfully, I won’t pay any positive attention towards myself if I were someone else.

I don’t know, maybe I’ve just temporarily lost my appetite on cynically criticizing anything around me, so I turned my attention to myself. And, voila, I found that delicious dartboard, full of terrible adjectives—insensitive, big mouth, selfish, etc.

See, for me, hating people takes much tinier time than falling in love.

’I love myself’ is just too overrated. I guess noone ever really peacefully did.

Anyway, I changed my Y!M account last night. It's dyahshinta now. Yes, I was trying to be a little more mature but hey, who am I to run faster than the ticking clock of age?

- synta @ 2007-09-17 / 4:39 a.m.

i'm starting to be tasteless

I’m starting to believe that I was born a twin. My twin was a ‘he’, an extreme extrovert, and completely sane.

I know many times in the past my web-published postings had brought me into unpleasing moments, but I have this huuuge need to share this and I don’t know where else I would find a better place to moan privately in public.

What’s the limit of normal social beings to earn happiness?

- synta @ 2007-09-11 / 5:12 p.m.