swallowing pride in justification

Disappointment disappointment disappointment.

I woke up this morning, txted him, checked the amount of rupiahs left for other txts or phonecalls (4hundreds-something), got shocked, then sent another txt to 8889, praying to get my life able to be continued, and then, there, just like that…

’Pengisian pulsa XL anda telah terblokir. Silakan hubungi XL Center.’

You bitch, I want my post-paid now.

- synta @ 2007-06-30 / 9:27 p.m.

tracked down and failed

I suddenly miss ”Garbage” (yes, the band), and crying myself poorly for realizing the fact that I’ve been leaving the ”Version 2.0” cassette back there in Jakarta for years, not listened (which, I’m afraid, has successfully resulted in some poor quality of playback). Argh. I need BitTorrent immediately.

And another thing I foolishly left behind, but this time it was left on Bandung instead (I start hating going back and forth this house-that house, this town-that town) was my cellphone’s USB cable. Actually, I can use my father’s since our phones came with the same USB port, and therefore, the same USB cable, but most probably he doesn’t use that cable much that I assume, he left his cable back there in Jakarta. Err, or it might have been me bringing my father’s cable along to Bandung, so both the cables were left on Bandung. Either way, I still don’t have any cables in range. So, “damn”.

Oh, I want to write my journal illustrated.

Since there’s only one day left for June, which means I’m getting closer to enter the world of teenager’s final year (19^th birthday, you fool), this is my wishlist:

*750 thousands idr Visual Dictionary
*Holga Coloursplash (they were out of stock in Aksara Kemang, in case you’re thinking about buying. Order them online, instead)
*the genuine Tamagochi V.04
*unlaced Jack Purcell shoes, contact me for size

No one has ever been so nice, darling, I think you’re dreaming.

- synta @ 2007-06-30 / 12:21 a.m.

i want my blueberry

I’ve just got tagged.

SIX weird things about me

a. ”Tadya” once said that even if I got the opportunity to be in US, I’d certainly keep ordering gado-gado for meals.

b. I can’t get involved in relationship with someone unless he’s at least one year older than me.

c. All animals scare me to death.

d. Some of my friends might assume that I don’t eat much, but the fact is, once I start taking a bite of food (especially snacks), I can’t stop myself. And that often happened when I was home, when no one was there except my family members. Same thing happen on shopping.

e. I don’t enjoy reading blogs written in poems. I think they’re dumb and exaggerated. Pardon.

f. I’m so damn moody. I mean it. I fucking mean it.

Wow, turned out I’m not so weird, afterall.

Should I tag more people? Err.. Mrs. Ochie, Wincil, Peebaw.

- synta @ 2007-06-28 / 3:20 a.m.

as long as i have your caress, your tenderness, i will be blessed

As some of you might have noticed, I've made some changes related to the name of my major on the sidebar. As if you would care.

I'm under the loving arms of both my parents now, meaning I'm currently sleeping, eating, standing, walking, breathing, and consuming more fats and calories way faaar from either Bandung or Jakarta. I'm out of the over-populated island, fucking Java, I'm back to my hometown, the lovely greeny cozy Bontang. Hahaha. Hahaha.

It's funny here, seems like everything shrunk, became much tinier than how it was when I left this town for good years ago. Now I'm back, and everything's noticeably surrendered to age.

Oh Lord.

- synta @ 2007-06-26 / 10:11 p.m.

not a dilemma, this is a test of bravery

I’m most probably gonna get lost in Bandung for the first time in few more hours. Well, I’ve been wrong for thousands times, however; let’s hope this one’d be one of those merciful times.

- synta @ 2007-06-19 / 10:12 a.m.

call me revolutioner

Aside from the accident I foolishly caused on the post below, today’s visit to this house (my Jakarta house) turned out to be somehow… sentimental. I mean, when I was staying inside all by myself (and a housekeeper, actually, but we didn’t really try to make any connection, so it was practically me only), seeing the surroundings and recalling all the things that happened in the past (excluding the romance I’ve had, of course) at the same time made me a bit… well, I’ve mentioned it, sentimental, that is. And I’m still wondering why I didn’t feel that way on the final minutes of my staying here few months ago.

Oh well…

I’m still tormented by the fact that none of my cellphones can be turned on, prior to me (miraculously) missing him. Oh, I thought I’ve told myself all the time to stop dealing with anything related to ‘that’ particular subject, but here I am.

Anyway,
I was showering yesterday and something popped into my mind. Something like… a story. I thought it’d make a good novel, or something. It was about childhood friendship between a boy and a girl who, as they grow up, tend to get more advantage of each other – if you get what I mean – but then again, they’d grown up watching too many childhood friendships end under the wrong flag (read: marriage; ‘happily ever after’), so they decided not to take their friendship anywhere near it. Then, well, they just keep getting more and more advantages each other – again, if you get what I mean.

What do you think?

- synta @ 2007-06-06 / 9:28 p.m.

oh shit

I’m in Jakarta and I forgot to bring my cellphones’ chargers along. All the two of them.

- synta @ 2007-06-06 / 4:50 p.m.

"great scott"

Yesterday I went to campus at 8-ish a.m. to get the (thankfully) last assignment handed in and scored. It was more like spending leisure jobless hours in campus instead, you know, we mainly just caught up with the friends, laughed and all, had lunch or brunch or late breakfast, and then disappeared to do something else more essentials – get back to home and sleep, actually.

And as for me, I was booked to meet Karin and Dini before starting my jobless hours.

After that, I txted him and asking for his free time, whether we could have lunch – actually it was breakfast for me – together or not, and it turned out that he also wasn’t very busy. But, oh well, his ‘was not very busy’ made me suffered in hunger for approximately one and a half hours, though, and he fell asleep after we finished our lunch on the canteen’s table.

Anyway, the last assignment scored pretty well and I’m so damn relieved for now I’ve got no academical-thoughts left anymore. :-D Sounds so lovely, doesn’t it? Well, except all of those major thingies which I’ve preferred to plainly leave all of it to the hands of destiny from now on.

Afterwards, we went home to my place and watched ”Back to the Future”. It was meant to be a non-stop movie trail, but then I got bored, somehow, so (after dinner) he fell asleep on the couch, which few minutes later followed by me, and then much later followed by his going home while I was half-awaken when he said that he was about to go home. I slept in the living room for some hours and then moved myself to my bedroom at around 2 a.m. or so (I forget real happened things too easily once I fell asleep).

Aaaaand, my day today hasn’t pretty much been started though I’ve watched ”Back to the Future II” first thing this morning. Oh, I’d love to have more hours wasted for some more sleep. What a pig.

- synta @ 2007-06-05 / 2:31 p.m.

makasih bangetlah, anjing

I just realized that I’m such the lousiest in holding on to my beliefs. And – I hope this won’t stay for long – just as bad, experienced one deep disappointment which lead me to terrible fear on its account. I hope this would be just me being too pessimist, but on the other hand, I’m devilishly hoping for my fear to become real. You know, just to give me a chance of saying: “See? I told you so.”

But close people around me were preventing people like me to do so. So, now I’m confused – and still – terrified.

I mean, how could I be responsible for something that I’ve been put a stop to to be happened?

I know I’ve been longing for some crash in my life that’d been going so smoothly until now – too smoothly, in fact, it made me almost feel like I was put to ‘stand-by’ mode, or worse, ‘hibernate’. But, oh please, not this way. Not in a way that would most possibly affect a wider aspect in my life, and others’, too.

WHY COULDN’T THEY PAY A FAIRER JUDGEMENT?

It's been a while..
My new earrings:

- synta @ 2007-06-03 / 10:38 a.m.

it's time to get ready to rock

Last night I watched my brother’s band – The Maquiladoras – on a gig that was held by some Unpad’s student, where I fell down when we just got there because I was holding my brother’s synthesizer that made me unable to see that there was some raffia ahead. Anyway, anyone interested in putting my brother’s band on their stages, feel free to contact me, preferably via IMs. :-)

Anyway,
I’m planning to watch the second sequel of “Pirates of the Carribean” this evening for the second time with him. I must stay awake from the beginning to the moment the credit title rolls this time, I must not fall into a deep peaceful sleep again. No, not this time.

Oh, both my legs hurt. The right one was the direct victim of last night’s falling-hard, and the left one was accidentally splashed by my hot coffee this morning. Ouch.

Aand, I’m planning to lose some weight this holiday. Wish me luckiest luck!

- synta @ 2007-06-01 / 10:51 a.m.