when you float like a cannonball
Okay, since Diani has bombed both my friendster’s profile and this piece of daily rambling, I’ll just start doing what she demanded me to.
5 things people rarely know about meIn times when I had no one to be txted while I was in desperate need of one, I used to compose random txt to be saved later on the ‘outbox’ or ‘draft’, then being re-read, then I’d compose a reply to it. Believe me, you’re not the first to say that this one’s quite a freak thing to do.
I left my PC on ‘stand-by’ when I sleep at night. Kill me, Greenpeace.
I rarely – nearly never – blame ‘luck’ in life for either good or bad things that happened to me.
I’ve been living my love life by getting this thing deeply understood: “getting back together with any ex(es) and long distance relationship are just as frail as walking on the frozen layer of north pole’s lakes – it’d easily be broken anytime possible by any possible reasons, even the unnecessary ones.”5 things on me I should’ve thrown but I just couldn’t
My laziness.
My ambition to be skinny. Well, the whole killing ambition in general, to be exact.
My over-fluctuating moody mood.
Those Blink 182 (yes, the band) posters which have been one of my bedroom’s side of walls’ wallpaper since years ago when I was still under the force of my ’dark age’ - if you get what I mean.
My reluctance to leave my comfort zone.5 things on me that I really like it much
My straight hair and its natural color (yes, I finally started to realize that it really wasn’t so bad)
My dancing skill – and history – though I’ve been leaving that world since goddamn long time ago. It’s such a sweet past, anyway.
My so-called creativity.
My big passion to read, though it mostly stayed as meaningless ‘passion’ instead of being followed by real reading sessions.
My ability on criticizing movies when I was watching them with my brother on theaters.
The funniest thing in a relationship is, the more we spend time with the loved one, the easier it will be to be burdened by the feeling of missing him - or ‘her’ in other cases.
Perhaps for a subjective reason, ”Love Me If You Dare” is such a good movie.
Okay, just one more random thing.
When someone – the one you’re devoted to – said : ”Udah ya, jangan nambah lagi mantan kamu,” what should be the best thing to feel?
a) feel as if you were nothing but a complete byotch who’s had ‘enough’ – and by ‘enough’ I mean ‘lots’ – different names listed under the ‘ex-boyfriend’ list;
Or
b) feel like you’ve found the one who would spend the entire rest of his/her life with you.
I’m still clueless about how I should be feeling.
- synta @ 2007-04-21 / 9:37 p.m.
even my freakest show was unappealing
Hectic hectic hectic weeks lately. It kills.
Anyway, some things that I dare to classify under the ‘magical’ section happened today. It was ‘wow’.
First, I finally had the opportunity to run around the city (no, hyperbolized, it was only some miles around our campus, to be honest) inside the loveliest ”ganja” - again – which means I spent those hours laughing and talking about lots and various topics, even the as-light-as-cotton-candy ones, with ones I’d truly missed a lot, Tadya and Diani (and Sintareiz, in addition :-P). And few hours later I had my most pleasing cup of latte with Giffa (with Sheby and Sufty in addition :-P). Truthfully, it occurred to be something deeply stuck into my mind when few days ago I realized that it had been really such a while since the last time I saw Tadya smoking cigars, while the fact is Tadya can always instantly turn into a locomotive in any possible seconds. I had been spending too much time apart from them that I am now sitting on a point where I damn miss those times when we could lean on each others while sharing our laughters. It was.. damn. And there are only four damn more months left to the time when we won’t be able to catch up on each others everyday anymore. DAMN!
Okay, nevertheless, this noon’s ‘running from the forbidden parking area to class’ session was something really, really fun. Not that I wish it would happen often, anyway.
Then, second, today’s the first day of my period, and after I evaluated few days I’d been through recently, I experienced no PMS symptom whatsoever. How could it be lovelier?
Third – this is the most interesting one – I wore the right pair of shoes on the right day, which means I had no water infiltrated inside my shoes for I wore sneakers on a heavily raining day. No, you wouldn’t understand how relieving this was for me, the one who was born with an undeniably lousy sense of weather forecast.
I think I’m gonna sleep really tight tonight. I mean, how could I not?
- synta @ 2007-04-19 / 7:52 p.m.
at the edge of the ocean, we can start over again
It was your kindness, it was your way of joking, it was how you acted so nervous, it was how wise you could suddenly turn into, it was how you called me ”chubby” without exactly making me feel like I am chubby.
It has been two months of constantly writing your name over and over on the pages of my journal. And I don’t care if this feeling isn’t big enough yet to build you the wall of trust. I am learning it all from the beginning, prior to those numerous unpleasant stories I’d written before.
None of us knows when this all began, none of us needs to. We’ve started our walk, accidentally, in rhyming steps.
- synta @ 2007-04-03 / 10:43 p.m.
is it my mistake for not wanting to fight for this?
Saybia’s song was whispering through my earphones and popped my sight outside my bedroom’s window. It was raining but sunny. Then, that was just it, I decided to type my first post for this month.
I just got recovered from the damn bloody fever. I don’t know what the exact translation of ”demam berdarah” is, but at least the ‘bloody’ word works as well. So, I’ve been practically hibernated on a phase named ‘bedrest’ since last week’s Saturday. It was getting better for a while at Monday morning I was prepared to face the midtest but then at around 8:30, the fever came back so I decided to go home instead. And just few hours later the doctor informed me that my thromboses had reduced.
Then came the days of forcing myself to empty the plates of sour lunch and dinner (the only meal I could really be friends with was the breakfast. Peanut butter on bread never tasted so delightful).
For the first time (that I’m aware of), I miss the feeling of playing with paper and my Toyo.
- synta @ 2007-04-02 / 3:19 p.m.
